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Games Adventure The Procession to Calvary
Adventure · Joe Richardson

The Procession to Calvary

The Procession to Calvary
Steam Deck Verified 🖥 Windows 🍎 macOS 🐧 Linux
Overwhelmingly Positive · 97% of 1,453
DeveloperJoe Richardson
$3.99 −60% near all-time low
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Our take

Great time to buy

Strong reviews, and it's near its cheapest ever.

Quality97/100
Excellent
  • 97% positive of 1,453 reviews
Value100/100
Lowest ever
  • Now $3.99 — 60% off $9.99
  • Lowest we've recorded: $3.99

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steam, Official store, 60% off, $3.99
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About

Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8

Story

Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...

Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?

Features

  • Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.

  • Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.

  • Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.

  • Standalone Story – The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but its story can be played independently.

  • Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situations, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice – and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...

  • Nonsense – A style of humour reminiscent of the surreal, anarchic comedy of Monty Python. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)

  • Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.

Special thanks to SUPERHOT PRESENTS, whose support made this project possible.

Review sentiment over time
positive critical

Media

The Procession to Calvary screenshot 1
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The Procession to Calvary screenshot 9
The Procession to Calvary screenshot 10

System requirements

System requirements platform
Minimum
Minimum:
  • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
  • OS *: Windows XP
  • Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
  • Memory: 2 GB RAM
  • DirectX: Version 10
  • Storage: 1 GB available space
Recommended
Recommended:
  • Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
  • OS *: Windows XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
  • Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
  • Memory: 4 GB RAM
  • DirectX: Version 11
  • Storage: 1 GB available space
Minimum
Minimum:
  • OS: Mac OSX 10.7
  • Processor: 2 GHz CPU
  • Memory: 2 GB RAM
  • Storage: 1 GB available space
Recommended
Recommended:
  • OS: Mac OS 10.11
  • Processor: 2 GHz CPU
  • Memory: 4 GB RAM
  • Storage: 1 GB available space
Minimum
Minimum:
  • OS: Ubuntu 14.04 / SteamOS
  • Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
  • Memory: 2 GB RAM
  • Storage: 1 GB available space
Recommended
Recommended:
  • OS: Ubuntu 14.04 / SteamOS
  • Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
  • Memory: 4 GB RAM
  • Storage: 1 GB available space

Achievements

Showing the 16 most-earned of 21 achievements

  • ACH_19
    60.1% of players
  • ACH_17
    59.6% of players
  • ACH_02
    58.3% of players
  • ACH_03
    51.4% of players
  • ACH_05
    50.4% of players
  • ACH_04
    48.0% of players
  • ACH_01
    43.6% of players
  • ACH_07
    41.2% of players
  • ACH_08
    40.4% of players
  • ACH_09
    39.2% of players
  • ACH_13
    38.8% of players
  • ACH_11
    38.2% of players
  • ACH_12
    38.2% of players
  • ACH_10
    37.7% of players
  • ACH_06
    37.4% of players
  • ACH_16
    36.8% of players

Age rating & content

dejus14
Violência fantasiosaViolênciaMedoAtos criminososLinguagem imprópriaNudezDrogas lícitas
igrsBANNED
Rokok dan/atau rokok elektronik, minuman beralkohol, narkotika, psikotropika, dan/atau zat adiktif lainnyaHororPenggunaan bahasa
steam_germany12
Alkohol / TabakGewaltDerbe Sprache

Price history

Lowest prices
Lowest prices view
All-time low $3.99
2026-06-27
Current $3.99
3-month low $3.99
12-month low $3.99
All-time low $3.99
2026-06-27

Latest news

Game info

Developer Joe Richardson
Publisher Akupara Games
Platforms Windows, Mac, Linux
Compatibility
Steam Deck Verified
Features
Single-playerSteam AchievementsSteam Trading CardsFamily SharingCamera ComfortCustom Volume ControlsPlayable without Timed InputMouse Only Option