University of Progress

Story

Play as Millard Wilson, a cynical young man who seems to have little hope for his life. After all, financial aid and nicotine can only do so much when you're constantly getting swamped in assignments.

But look on the bright side! College is full of fun people. And by fun, I mean fun to mess with.

For example, if a loser nerd whines about how women won't sleep with him, just give him the worst dating advice imaginable and watch him humiliate himself! Or if the annoying frat boy won't shut up about cars, just vandalize his car with spray paint!

See? College is fun if you approach it with the right mindset!

And if that helps, you also have Marcus! Your best friend who will always have your back. Pretty useful, isn't it?

Things to do

• Meet cute girls (and boys)

• Mess with insecure men

• Make your roommate cry

• Commit insurance fraud

• Take assorted pills (not kidding)

• Never cry

• Don't ever cry

• Men don't cry

• Remember that weak men are useless

• Weak men are useless

• Useless

• Useless

• Useless

Millard's past? You don't want to know.